Loving someone with bipolar disorder is a hard love. You never know who you will come home to at the end of the day. Life is out of your control. You can't plan anything because it all depends on the day's cycle. Life has the highest highs and the lowest lows. It's all great at first because you feel so alive. After a while, you just get whiplash and want off the ride. You never know what new secret will jump out at you when you least expect it. It is endless bill collectors for bills supposedly paid. It is hopelessness to help the person you love the most. It is cleaning up the aftermath. It is losing the person you once loved. It is being forgotten. It is putting aside your own needs for the extreme needs of someone you love. It is staying up all night on suicide watches. It is avoiding social situations. It is loneliness. It is mental illness. It is my life.